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"This Is Not a Love Story" a novel by L M Payne

Living and loving in London is tough, and the internet isn’t helping. ‘This Is Not A Love Story’ is a novel about losing at love and finding yourself.

Betty Black is bored. Bored with dead end day jobs and dead beat boyfriends. By contrast, her best friend Pearl has it all. A steady career running her own vintage clothes shop and a steady boyfriend. Pearl wants everything to stay exactly the same. Except for one thing. Both women have problems in the bed department – and we’re not talking third floor next to haberdashery.

When Betty meets Kieron in an online chat forum, there’s an instant attraction. The only problem is Betty’s boyfriend, Sim. After negotiating his way into her flat for a night, Kieron begins to hook her in with increased online attention. Betty wrestles with her desire, wondering if she should throw away her relationship with her boyfriend Sim, which could be the start of something special, for a one-time sexual encounter with Kieron.

“This Is Not A Love Story” is the debut novel from L M Payne. Set in London with a soundtrack that covers everything from The Cramps to NIN via Avenue D (rockabilly, industrial, electro – is that even a thing?). Together with a smattering of rollergirls, it’s a retro-hipster bonkbuster on rollerskates. If you love Mhairi McFarlane’s Geordie rom-coms, then this whacked-out comedy of errors with wrong lovers and wrong people is for you. It’s a story about experimentation, exploration and, ultimately, the strength of female friendship. Buy the book and get entangled in Betty’s twisted love life today!

This Is Not A Love Story is available to buy on Amazon. Click to buy a copy or download a free sample today.



STASH is a collection of four short stories each portraying a woman’s experience at a pivotal stage in her life.

We meet a girl on the cusp of womanhood who sneaks nips of her alcoholic mother’s vodka, a woman who looses her body at the end of a Pilates class, another who turns an absence into a presence, and we find out that Love is in fact a dangerous virus, but thankfully there’s a vaccine.

STASH is available as a free ebook. Just click the link below to get your free copy.

Click the button to get a free copy of "STASH and other stories" by L M Payne.


Coming soon…

Lovebytes a collection of six six short twisted tales about love.

These were originally published on the Litzine “Straight From The Fridge” from December 2006 until it ended in May 2008. This will be in ebook and audiobook format.

Four of the stories were recorded for the Talking Newspaper in February 2016 as part of a magazine insert. You can listen to the recording for free here, they start around the 31 minute mark. Scroll to the bottom and look for the entry titled “Extras”.


Jumper will be my second novel.

Five women come together to learn how to knit a jumper. What they end up learning is much more than any of them could have imagined.

As the women knit they slowly unravel their personal histories to the group. These weave together strands of UK and US feminist activism, experiences of Greenham Common Peace camp, immigration and isolation, mental illness, suicide, birth, ageing, menopause and celibacy.

It explores themes of fertility, family, finances and home.


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